Most of us may perceive Covid-19 lockdowns as very stressful events. They may affect couples in their 7 areas of life such as physical health, financial, emotional & mental, social, familial, career and spiritual.
However, if we can accept the unfortunate situation (aka challenge) and turn it around to be a blessing, it can actually build resilience and strengthen relationships.
Here are some of my tips for couples to keep in mind while being under the state of lockdown, and if you are one of them, I bet these will be very handy to apply in your day to day life, lockdown and beyond:
1. Respect each other’s space – During periods where going outside is limited, you highly likely have spent more time together than ever in your married life/relationship. And while it may sound like a nice and sweet moment to have for some, you may find it CHOKING. Simply too much. With each of you breathing down on each other’s neck, you tend to lose your sh*t, lash out, and hurt each other in the process.
So with this tip, I want you reading this to remember to be considerate towards each other’s space. Being a couple, it doesn’t mean you have to be together 24-7. Keep in mind to give your partner their sense of individuality in terms of physical spaces, emotional and mental space. Perhaps your living room can be your office/space, your dining room can be your partner’s office/space, and the kitchen and the bedroom can be together space.
- Watch your tone and body language – Most of the time, couples do not mean any harm to each other with what they’re doing… but due to the manner of how it was done or said, they end up fighting more than necessary.
In this pandemic, you do not need more useless arguments which can take a toll on your relationship. Keep in mind to be mindful of how you deliver your message to your partner – sometimes, it’s not the word that we say but how we say it.
- Plan for your future -Now that you have more time on your hands, perhaps you could take the opportunity to plan and manifest your goals as a couple and as a family. (Not every day we get the chance to sit on this topic for a long time!)
You may begin with writing your initial individual goals, then your goals as a couple, then familial goals. And from there, list down the objectives you have to accomplish to reach the end game you both want. For sure, refreshing your plans for the future will also help in refreshing your relationship! Have you heard the saying of “if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”?
- Laughter – As someone with cheeky personality, I truly believe that laughter is the key to healing.
During stressful times (lockdown and beyond), people might find it hard to see the silver lining in life. However, couples must find or create ways on to ease the heavy energy to uplift their spirit!
So instead of sulking in the corners of the house, I recommend doing things at home that bring joy to your hearts! You can watch comedy shows you both like, or even share some funny stories you have up in your sleeves. In the episodes of my podcast: Relaxed & Raunchy Relationships Podcast, which I started in the beginning of lockdown 2020,my guests and I share funny stories weekly. Why be too serious when you can have fun, right? It doesn’t hurt to bring along a bowl of popcorn to make the experience even more fun!
We may not be able to control what’s happening around us, however, we can control how we respond to it!
- Listening – By this, I do not mean ‘hearing’. Hearing is just simply getting the sound of one’s voice from their mouth to your ears. When I say ‘listening’, I mean the act of processing the information you got from your significant other.
When your partner says something about this or that, do not jump to the conclusion and deliver your comment. Pause for a moment … Make an effort of thinking about where it’s coming from, or why he or she is saying this. Sometimes, the best thing for you to do is being silent. Your partner simply wants someone to understand and an acknowledgment of how they feel.
- Ask for help – And last but definitely not least, ask for professional help (e.g. relationship coach). Going to a professional doesn’t have to mean that your relationship is on the verge of a divorce/separation – to me it shows that you are a conscious couple that is willing to make your relationship or marriage better!
Putting your hand up for support when you need it is not shameful. I would like to encourage you reading this, to not give up on yourself, your loving relationship and your bright future. You don’t have to do it alone.
Challenge promotes growth, therefore lockdown brings resilience.