One of the side effects of not having a close relationship with your primary carers as a child can be that you may find it difficult to form and maintain solid intimate relationships as an adult.
However, it is also true that even if you didn’t get good parenting or haven’t been successful in love, you can become close and stay close to someone who loves you.
You can have a dynamite relationship.
It comes down to getting really good at taking what you’ve got and making it work.
The thing is, you have to find a way to deal with your past (perhaps your parents were heinous) and move on.
People who spend too much time blaming their parents for where they are in their lives, drained their energy to move forward.
If your parents didn’t give you the security you needed while growing up, you can create the security you need now.
One of the most important choices you can make is to keep your eye on the future instead of dwelling on the past.
This may mean you need to learn to deal with uncomfortable emotions/people.
Many people who have overcome humble or humiliating beginnings are fulfilled in their lives.
Following a dream with your love, can help to fill the hole created by a loveless childhood.
It takes patience, persistence, and the ability to give what you want to get.
So my encouragement to you is, to keep trying, and know that you deserve to be loved just for being who you are.
Strategies to make it work with a wounded soul:
- Share your difficult stories with your partner. Let them comfort you. You can even let them know how you want to be comforted. Talk about how those difficult times made you who you are now, the person that your partner loves.
- Create a ritual of letting go. Let go of your fear, anger, and resentment by channeling those through writing, dancing, singing, etc, then visualise that they are disappearing.
- Ask your partner to share the challenging experiences that have affected them. Discuss how those challenges may have contributed to the qualities you love in them.
Seeking personalized guidance or support? Feel free to schedule a chat with Ingrid. I’m here to assist with any challenges or questions you may have, providing expert insights customized specifically for your needs.
For direct contact, reach me at 0413161616.